"Hi, Hunny!"
A wide grin and open arms greeted me as I walked through the nursing home on my way to check in for my second day of clinicals.
"Hi Jim*!"
I was training to become a certified nursing assistant and part of the course involved spending several days job-shadowing and turning our classroom knowledge into hands-on experience at a local nursing home. In all honesty, we were probably a nuisance to workers there who already had their hands full, so I spent a lot of my time just hanging out with Jim, a resident who had befriended me on the first day. I was an awkward sixteen-year-old wearing mismatched second-hand scrubs two sizes too big for me, but within minutes of meeting, Jim had made me feel like the most special girl on the planet. "You are so beautiful, hunny!" he would always remind me with a wink and a smile, "I bet all the boys are chasing after you!" (He couldn't have been further from the truth, but this single pringle took the compliment anyway haha)
Throughout the week I took Jim to his physical therapy sessions, sat outside in the sunshine with him, wheeled him to dinner, and talked about life with him. It was very easy to tell what was important and special to him. Jim had a passion for airplanes and it was not hard to see. His door was completely covered in black-and-white pictures of planes and behind that door more pictures, posters, and airplane models adorned every corner of the room. Even his favorite shirt had airplanes all over it. I heard many airplane stories that week and loved them all- but the best part of the stories was the enthusiasm behind them. Just the thought of flying lit up his face. The wall space left in between the planes, however, were reminders of what he loved even more- his family. Jim loved to show me the pictures of his children and grandchildren and tell the stories that went along with them. I probably could have named each of his family members myself by the end of the week! But his favorite picture, the one that hung right above his bed, was a beautiful painting of his deceased wife. He spoke fondly of her often, and expressed that he could not wait to be reunited with her in Heaven. She had passed years before but he still missed her every day. "Wasn't she beautiful?" he asked as he lovingly looked up at the portrait. She certainly was.
Clinicals only lasted about a week and after getting through those, the only thing standing between me and my certification was the state test. It was one of the most nerve-wracking things I've been through and it was quite the relief when it was over. The nursing home Jim lived in hired me the same day; I was so happy to see my friend again.
"Hi, Hunny!"
"Hi Jim!"
My senior year of high school began and life got crazy. I couldn't do the sportsing to save my life (I have no athletic skills whatsoever) but I was in pretty much every other activity in school and so between extracurriculars and academics I was only able to work about four shifts a pay period. When I was at work it was always crazy busy and a race to get everything done so I was never able to spend as much one-on-one time with residents as I would have liked; I rarely worked on his wing so visits with Jim became fewer and further in between. He was still always excited just to say hi and give me a hug though (and his "Hi, Hunny!"s were the highlights of my shifts too). One night I was running between residents' rooms when something caught my attention. Jim was sitting at the end of the hallway waving at me. I waved back but it was the busiest part of the night and another resident was waiting on me so when he motioned from his wheelchair for me to come talk to him I had to continue with my work instead. I made a mental note to go say good night to him before I left for the night.
"Hi, Hunny! I love you!"
The next afternoon I came into work, clocked in, and grabbed a walkie. My best friend was also my coworker at the time and came up to me at the beginning of the shift. I could tell something was wrong, "Have you heard?" "What?" "Jim died last night." I held it together until the end of the night but went home crying. I had forgotten to say good night to Jim, and never said good-bye.
There are few people who can leave as big of an impression on someone as Jim did in the amount of time I had the privilege of knowing and caring for him. He taught me many things in the last few months of his life. He was bound to a wheelchair but unlike many others who would have given up, made sure he worked extra hard every day in physical therapy to regain strength in his legs. Jim had the same frustrations many nursing home residents do; growing older and having to have others take care of you is not always easy or pleasant. But he chose to make the most of it and his smiles, laughter, and teasing made our jobs so much more enjoyable and rewarding. He pursued his passion in life- he flew planes and he loved it. And rather than complaining about being unable to fly anymore, he relived his dreams and shared his passion with others through his stories. He taught me that the most important things in this life are not things- they are the people around you. Jim loved his family and spread joy to the people around him.
It can be so easy to become consumed with my own problems and forget what is really important. But I can still picture Jim's smiling face and see him waving at the end of the hallway and it reminds me of everything he taught me without even knowing it. Don't take a day for granted and don't waste the days you have been granted, you never know which one will be your last. There will always be something to complain about, but most things aren't worth it. You may not be in control of the cards you are dealt in life, but you are responsible for deciding what to do with your cards. Show love often. You never know when something as simple as a compliment or a hug and a smile could leave a lasting impact on someone else. Don't leave anything important unsaid. I won't be able to thank Jim in this world for the love he showed and lessons he taught me. But I do hope that I can thank him by living my life in a way that reflects the things I learned from him, and I hope his story encourages you to do the same; life is beautiful, so live it.
*Jim's name has been changed for privacy issues
